Reflections on Trans Day of Remembrance and the Power of Community Care

When I first began volunteering at the Gender Health Center in 2014, I could never have imagined the depth and breadth of what this space would become. Back then, the GHC had a small waiting area, a few counseling rooms, and a modest gathering space downstairs. What we lacked in size, we made up for in heart. Community members came through for support and respite, often held by a team of dedicated volunteers and a small staff doing everything we could with what we had.

An illustration of the Gender Health Center's prior location in Midtown - Sacramento, CA with a yellow background with stars and diamonds.

Over the years, the GHC has grown and evolved including moving into a new building, refining services, and creating spaces that are consistently cleansed, renewed, and infused with healing intentions. I hoped for this growth, yes. But to witness what we have built together now, a thriving community hub, a counseling home, a mobile site for care and connection, is profoundly moving. It is a living, breathing testament to what a community can create when guided by love, liberation, and resources.

That truth was especially clear during our Trans Day of Remembrance (TDOR) Community Dinner on Wednesday night. Led by our Community Support Services team, the event reflected true cross-organizational collaboration. Every department showed up and participated. It was a beautiful display of how we hold each other not just with some platitudes, but in actual practice. TDOR is an annual observance on November 20th that honors the lives of transgender people lost to anti-transgender violence and hate. The day serves to raise awareness of the violence and discrimination that the transgender and gender expansive communities face, while also honoring those who lives were lost. This year alone throughout the world, over 200 transgender and gender non-conforming community members (that have been documented) died, most violently, but some folks also transitioned due to natural causes. This day was founded in 1999 by Gwendolyn Ann Smith who sought to commemorate the 1998 murders of Rita Hester and Chanelle Pickett, two Black transgender women.

A picture of a community member holding a cup of tea and watching a slideshow of trans community members who died this past year due to violence. Marigolds and roses are in the foreground of the picture.

Navigating practices of grief and loss often require being with community in a grounded, loving space. We did this to help us honor those lost to violence. These practices reminded me how sacred our collective presence is. We uplifted the legacies that continue to live within us, and we did so through song, shared stories, letter writing, laughter, and crying. Our Director of Healthcare Services offered a stunning acapella rendition of La Martiniana and babyyyyy, the whole room was in tears. Trans youth, adults, and elders spoke about what it means to be human in these times, what it means to embody transness in these times. We reflected on how we care for each other, lament together, grow together, and heal together.

A picture with a pink and blue background with delicate pink flowers displaying pictures of the community altar, 5 GHC Staff members posing for a picture, and a GHC staff member with a dog friend at the event. The header reads, Celebrating TDOR at GHC.

The gathering drew deeply from our Indigenous lineages of ancestor veneration which are practices that remind us to mark the seasons, honor those who have transitioned, and nourish the living. Food, music, and specially formulated herbal teas filled the room, offering comfort and grounding. The night felt like a tapestry of everything that makes our community resilient, resistant, and real: tenderness, courage, humor, grief, and the insistence that we deserve joy even amidst struggle.

As the year comes to a close, I’m holding immense gratitude for our GHC team and our beautiful community of activists, artivists, youth, teachers, ministers, healers, elders, counselors, students, supporters, and our beloved dog friends, each one of you who shows up even in the hardest moments and remains steady, rooted in love. I’m grateful for everyone who came out in support and solidarity for this sacred gathering.

We will continue creating spaces to share our stories, strengthen connection, and build solidarity across 2S/SGL/LGBTQIA+ communities and our loves. This year’s Trans Day of Remembrance gathering was yet another reminder of what community care looks like and more importantly, what it feels like. It feels like home. It feels like we. And we will work on the daily to ensure that these violent endings based on trans-antagonism and hate, end.